Aniki!
Our late father always used to say,
a real man needs to fight just once in his life, and only if he's ready to die.
Those filthy Misawa cowards.
I'm not gonna let them do whatever the hell they want.
Man, why are all yakuza movies the same?
Aniki...
All they do is grab their swords and charge.
You'd think they'd come up with something better,
like blowing the enemy away all away at once, or shooting just the boss.
No need to be so violent.
Please don't say things like Sagara-san would say.
Besides, yakuza swords aren't that bad.
They say if you learn to use it well, it makes you more of a man.
You shouldn't just rely on your piece.
"Piece"? You mean gun?
Yes.
Are you a yakuza movie fan or something?
No, not particularly.
Aniki!
Hachi! Hachi!
Hang on, Hachi!
What's wrong?
Bastards... Don't throw your lives away for nothing!
Nothing.
I just lost out on my private investments.
What's the point of following a guy like THAT?
Investments? You play the stock market?
No. I worked with Belgian military suppliers to develop new equipment for military and police use.
They were breakthrough products, incorporating the latest in high technology.
But there weren't many buyers.
I heard the FBI and the Miami Police bought some,
but now I'm going to have to be responsible for what's left.
Well, I don't understand what happened,
but life has its ups and downs, so cheer up, okay?
I'll take you to Ohio-ya for some Trident-yaki on the way home.
To protect the environment, we have to...
BORING! Everything you say is BORING!
Okay...
A Fancy Without Honor or Humanity
Here you go. Yogurt flavored.
This is good.
He really is a dog.
Yeah, you're right.
What are you talking about?
Fine, ya stinkin' sons a bitches!
Dammit.
Get out here and fight!
If you keep on screwing around with me, I'll frickin' kill ya!
C'mon! Get the hell out of here!
Hey look tha, it'th a fight. That'th unuvual.
As a pro, what's your opinion on this fight, Mr. Sergeant?
No good at all.
Their movements are way too linear.
I'd rather see rookie soldiers dance.
Oh, I see.
Whoa!
That's a bold move coming from a yakuza! It's the Axe Bomber!
Ow, that's gotta hurt!
By the way, which side do you think will win?
Both lack firepower and skill.
Meaning the side with the most men will win.
So, does watching stuff like this scare you, Ren-san?
Yes. I don't know what to do.
It's all right. Just let them be and they won't hurt you.
No, I don't know if that's a good idea.
Pathetic.
Let this be a lesson. Don't ever stick your nose into our place again.
You got that, huh?
Damn, every single one of them punks in the Mikihara gang is nothin' but a bunch of pansies.
Mikihara gang?
Ren Mikihara... As in the Mikihara gang?!
Shibata-san!
Ojou-san?
This is so embarrassing...
Are you hurt?
No, as you can see. Anyway, I'm fine.
Who were those men?
Punks from the Ryujinkai.
They've been muscling in on our turf more and more, lately.
They think they can get away with it because the boss is sick.
Don't cry, Shibata-san.
You just lost to some guys acting like pro wrestlers, that's all.
Um, excuse me, Ren-san, uh...
Who are these people?
They work under my father. My family manages a small company.
In other words her family manages a yakuza gang?!
It's HER!
The girl who sicced that Bonta-kun on us at the park!
So what?
You wanna fight? I'll summon Bonta-kun again!
He'll fumo-fumo your ass until you cry!
Summon him? You can actually do that?
Yeah! If I blow my whistle three times, he'll come running to save me!
No way!
That's just like Amb ador Magma!
Ojou-chan!
Aniki?
I didn't know she was your friend from school!
I'm sorry for committing such a horrible act!
Please forgive me!
And...
And?
If you don't mind, I have a favor to ask.
A favor?
Father, it's time for your medicine.
Thanks.
Sorry for all the trouble.
Father!
I'm all right. Don't worry about me.
No, I meant the futon. I don't want it to get stained.
Excuse me!
Another drunken brawl? Give it up already, will ya?
You're setting a bad example for the younger guys.
Yes, sir! I'm very sorry!
A real man needs to fight just once in his life.
But you're doin' it once every frickin' week!
You're acting like your life's not worth crap.
And your little boy is five years old.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Yes, but...
It was a different situation with these guys.
Different? How?
They were from the Ryujinkai.
Boss, I don't know how to say this,
but to be honest, we can't protect our turf by ourselves.
We're just too outnumbered.
That's what I wanted to talk about.
I thought, why don't we hire a bodyguard?
In fact, I just found someone with just the skills we need!
So is he strong?
Yes! He said something about having been a soldier overseas for a long time, and things like that.
Instructor!
Boss, let me introduce you.
This is the bodyguard, Bonta-kun, and his interpreter Kaname-san.
Fumoffumoffu.
Nice to meet you.
Fumofumofumoffu. Fumoo. Fumoffu.
Umm, Bonta-kun says "It is an honor to meet you.
Boss, if it is a combat instructor you want, leave it to me."
Fumofumo, moffuru. Fumo, fumoffu. Fumo!
Umm, "Just sit back and watch me turn your underlings into fine soldiers.
There's nothing to worry about. I am a professional."
Hey Shibata...
Yes, sir?
Look, Shibata. I don't know if you're trying to torture me because I'm sick,
but don't you think you went a little too far? Huh?!
I'm the bastard they call "Kanji the Killer!"
I'm NOT some softy who'll stand being made a fool out of by some kid!
Fumo!
Fumo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo!
Boss!
Father!
Fumo, fumomomoffu, fumo fumoffu, fumofumoffu...
"You shouldn't judge people by their appearances.
Doing that on the battlefield could get you killed."
Dammit. Frickin' stuffed animal.
But I gotta admit, you're strong...
Father!
Boss!
What are you doing?
Fumo!
Fumoffu fumoffu fumoffu.
"This gun is called a T-54.
Fumoffu moffu fumoffumoffu.
It's the enemy's main weapon.
So learn its force and what it sounds like!"
Fumoffu, fumofumofuumofumoffu.
Umm, "You're all a bunch of worthless scum!
Moffurumofumofufuumofumoffu.
But under my command and with the proper training,
You'll be capable of performing any kind of mission.
So quit dragging your feet, you...
Hey, don't look at me, Bonta-kun's the one who's saying it!
Oh, whoops, sorry about that.
You pansies! What's with the faces?
Now listen up! I handpicked this instructor, and asked him to come here especially for you.
And if any of you have a problem with that...
I'll take you on MYSELF!
Now, now, calm down.
Fumoooo!
Attention!
Fumofumofumoffu!
"First is basic training!
Fumoffu!
Give me one lap around the town!"
Yes, sir.
FUMOOOO!
"MOVE IT!" Or something like that.
After seven generations, it looks like this is the end for the Mikihara gang.
Why don't I bring you some tea?
Fuumo, fumofumo, fumoffumo!
Fuumo, fumofumo, fumoffumo...
Fuumo, fumofumo, fumoffumo!
Fumofumo!
Fuuumo, fumofumo, fumoffumo!
Fumoffu. Fumoruru.
"Try not to waste any movement.
Fumoffu, fumoffufumofumo.
And when you take the enemy down, don't yell."
Yes, sir! Understood.
All right men, give it a try!
Yes, sir!
Take this!
C'mon!
Fumofumooo?!
"What were you looking at?!"
Fumoffu.
Fumofufumoffu.
"Now you try."
Yes, sir.
Give it up, you bastards!
FUMOFFU! Fumofu fumofu, fumofumofumoffu!
"You'll be nothing but a sitting duck out there!"
Beat them to a pulp!
Fumomomomomomoffu!
"Quit messing around!"
Fumo, fumo, fumoffu!
"Use your HEAD for once!"
But sensei, no matter what I do, my body just moves without me even thinking about it.
Fumomomoffu! Fumoffu.
"Don't give me that crap! You're not some street punks!"
Actually, we are street punks...
Stupid Mikihara bastards...
I was wondering what they were up to,
but they're just out here playing with a stuffed animal of all things.
It looks like even "Kanji the Killer" has fallen.
Now's the time to teach him a lesson for ignoring all our warnings.
I have an idea exactly how to do that.
Oh?
I found out Mikihara has a teenage daughter.
Oh yeah?
We can have a little fun with her if you know what I mean.
You pervert.
They're nothing like that rugby club, you know!
They're all so hot-blooded.
I thought that if we could increase the Mikihara gang's fighting power,
it would act as a deterrent, and thus we could avoid a fight.
You mean, if both sides are strong, then neither one can interfere with the other?
Correct.
There's no need to be stronger than the enemy.
All you need to do to make them give up,
is make them acknowledge that you could give them a good fight.
That's a common survival tactic.
But now the problem is that they're TOO confident about themselves.
Sensei, we've gotten a lot stronger since you came here, right?
We'll be able to round up all those Ryujinkai punks now.
Fumoffu!
Fumofumofumoffu.
"Don't get cocky!
You're still a bunch of cute little baby chicks!"
Um, sensei, even if you say we're cute...
Fumoffu!
Fumoffu, fumo fumo fumoffu fumoffu!
"Quiet!
You are to avoid engaging the enemy until I give my approval.
And that's an order!"
Yes, sir.
Chidori-san.
Oh, hi Ren-san.
Okay, Sousuke, see you later.
Yeah.
Hmm? Later?
Oh, don't worry about it.
All vetronics activated.
All actuators connected.
Final activation check... Check complete.
Close hatch. Begin adjustment to Mode 4.
Set Bilateral Angle at 3.5.
Roger. Running. Mode 4, BMSA 3.5. Complete.
Voice changer, off.
Roger. Voice changer, off.
Why does this always happen...
Voice changer, on!
Roger. Voice changer, on.
Fumoffu!
Look! It's Bonta-kun!
SENSEI!
Fumo?!
I'm so sorry.
I went to pick up Ojou-san and Kaname-san, and on the way back we got attacked.
Sensei! Please, please save her!
What should I do?
The Ryujinkai have 40 people...
So I could take them out if I used some powerful firearms,
but there would be a lot of casualties.
If only I had allies...
Sensei! We'll go with you, of course!
Yeah! Let us at'em!
Fumo...
But these guys are weak.
Even if I brought them along, they'd obviously just die like dogs.
If only I had some equipment that would be good for a situation like this...
Fumoffu!
Poor old me.
Why am I always getting kidnapped by bad guys?
Oh, this has happened to you a lot before, Chidori-san?
Yeah, thanks to a certain IDIOT.
Oh, I see...
You two sure are pretty little ladies.
Excuse me, who are you?
The Ryujinkai Boss.
You're going to help us make the Mikihara gang get off this turf.
Help you? What are you talking about?
First, we have to let them know we're serious, see?
What was that?
Bastards! Which gang are they from?
Find them! Go!
Fumoffuru!
What the hell is THAT?
Fumoffu!
Fumo.
Fumo!
Fumoffu!
[Clear!]
Fumo!
FUMO!
Fumoffu!
[Clear!]
This equipment is really useful after all.
I wonder why it didn't sell.
This... This can't be happening!
YOU MORON! What in the hell are you doing?
Oh, Boss! It's Bonta-kun... Bonta-kun!
Fumoffu!
Fumoffu! Mofuu!
[Alpha team, go!]
Ow!
Don't get any closer!
Impossible... Bonta-kun?
My whole gang was beat by BONTA-KUN?
Fuumo, fumo fumo. Fumoffu.
[You have nowhere to run. Surrender.]
He's telling you to surrender.
You're frickin' kidding me!
How am I supposed to live the rest of my life if I get my ass kicked by a stinkin' STUFFED ANIMAL?!
Stay away! I said stay away!
Fumoffu!
[Now!]
Fumoffu!
Im... Impossible.
Fumofumofumofumo.
[You made one mistake.]
Fumofumofumoru. Fumoffu.
[You underestimated your enemy's fighting power.]
I don't get a word you're sayin'.
Hello, Sengawa Police, Investigation Department 4.
WHAT?!
The entire Ryujinkai is finished?!
What?
Bonta-kun did WHAT?!
What are you talking about?
It's HIM!
That yellow bastard is back again!
Fuumofumofumofumoffumoo!
Fumofumo!
What an embarrassing way to be rescued.
Do you think so? I think they're cute.
Fuumofumofumofumoffumoo!
I didn't want it to be as bloody as in the movies,
Fuumofumofumofumoffumoo!
But I'm not sure how I feel about being rescued by BONTA-KUN, either...
Preview
Flirting?
Hah. No big deal.
With my techniques, I can get any woman I want in an instant.
Do you really understand what "flirting" means?
Of course. I can make any girl my prisoner.
All right, if you think you can do it, then show me.
No problem. No problem at all.
Next time: Uncontrollable Bluebird
I'm looking forward to this! REALLY looking forward to it!
What? We can't use any weapons or traps?!
Uncontrollable Bluebird